10 Tips And Tricks For Online Dating For Men
1. Be Yourself
I cannot stress this first point enough. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pretend to be something you are not while online dating. Not only will this lead to inevitable disappointment for your date, but it will also end with inevitable embarrassment on your part when your date walks out on you, comments on how much weight you’ve gained or hair you’ve lost since you took the photo on the site, or asks you where the tattoo went.
2. Answers the Questions
It’s amazing how many people will complain that they’ve had no luck with online dating and then I’ll take a look at their profile and there won’t be any pictures and most of the fields aren’t filled out. “I don’t want my picture up on a dating site,” they say. I just sigh. There’s no way you’re going to find great people to date online if you don’t have enough commitment to post at least one picture and fill out 90% of the fields on your profile page.
3. Brand Yourself
As with any social environment, the first thing someone notices about you is what you can display from across the room. In the real world, this usually amounts to how you dress, how you style your hair, how polished your shoes are, etc. In the wonderful world of online dating, however, you have myriad different levels of information you can display. This means you have a lot of opportunities to shine, but also a whole lot of opportunities to foul up big time.
Starting out, know what image you are trying to get across and what story you want to tell. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who is visiting your profile.
4. Don’t Be a Troller
There are certain civilities that are usually followed on online dating sites that you would be wise to uphold (this mostly applies to guys, but girls can be guilty of them, too). Firstly, don’t be that creepy guy who sends awkwardly sexual messages to girls half your age, writes intentionally offensive things in the forums, or harasses other members. It’s simply not cool, gives online dating a bad name, and will likely get you reported and booted from the site. Secondly, most sites allow some kind of opt-in or opt-out functionality that allows people to see who has been viewing their profile.
5. Use Correct Grammar/Sentence Structure/Spelling
This doesn’t matter as much to some people as others, but I can tell you that I personally have not continued conversations with people on dating sites for no other reason than because looking at their garbled and grammatically-incorrect messages hurt my eyes and my feelings. Typing is fairly easy for people of our generation, and it doesn’t take much extra effort to look for typos (most modern browsers will underline incorrectly-spelt words automatically, and offer to change it to the correct spelling).
6. Wait For The Right Time
The biggest complaint that I’ve heard from women who have been members of online dating sites is that they’ll get dozens of messages per day that will say things like ‘Damn girl, you're so fine. Why don’t you cum over and we’ll tap that ass?’ Let’s think about this for a moment. Who in their right mind honestly believes that this porno-inspired pick-up line will work? I can only imagine that the sender is treating online dating as a numbers game and that somewhere along the way he’ll come across someone just tasteless (or stupid) enough to fall for his ridiculous come on.
7. Ask Your Expectations
This is a rule that applies to interact in person as well, but it’s especially important in the online dating scene because it can be hard to get people to reply to you (whether due to the massive amounts of mail they get every day or simply because they don’t know how to respond to your list introduction. Asking a few intelligent, well thought out questions, however, gives them a reason to respond, while at the same time showing something about yourself.
8. Be Broad Minded
Good advice for life, but especially good for online dating. The truth is, you’ll likely end up going on a lot of dates before you find someone who you’d want to take things to the next level with (if that is, indeed, what you are looking to do eventually).
This means that you should keep yourself open to dating different types of people. I have a very definite type that I tend to gravitate toward, but I’ve found that when I’ve dated people who are very much outside of that type, I’ve been just as happy or happier even though they wouldn’t have fit my usual description of what I look for.
9. Express What You Feel
It’s a fine art, knowing when to go from online conversation to actually meet in person. I can tell you, too, that no matter how many times you do it, it’s still a little uncomfortable each time. Their voice never sounds quite like what you were expecting the first time you speak to them on the phone, they may seem a little bigger or a little smaller in real life than how they appear in their photographs. And you know this, at least subconsciously, so taking that step of asking someone out on a REAL date in REAL life can be an intimidating thing to do.
10. Try, Try Again
As I mentioned before, you’ll likely have to go on many dates before you find the right person. The good part is, there are not many uncomfortable consequences for having a bad first date in the online dating scene; it’s not like high school or college where anyone you date knows everyone else you know and you have to see them every day in Chemistry for the rest of the semester.
At the end of the day you’ll have met some interesting people, hopefully, made some new friends, and when you finally do find someone you want to move on to the next level with, you will both have some hilarious stories to tell each other.